


Chapter 2 - The path

by sc0bagal



Series: Thoughts of a Radiant [2]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sc0bagal/pseuds/sc0bagal
Summary: Kaladin has a conversation with Dalinar Kholin about his issues with the campaign with the Parsmen. His anxieties are not assuaged and he finds himself back in the infirmary later that night.
Series: Thoughts of a Radiant [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733284
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Chapter 2 - The path

Kaladin left the infirmary after several hours of tireless work with the white-haired surgeon whose name turned out to be Tev. He made his way back to his barracks room in Urithiru and flopped onto his bed not bothering to undress, he was just so exhausted. A deep dreamless sleep immediately embraced him.

He woke up a short time later feeling more refreshed than he had in a long time even though he had only slept for a couple of hours at most. He set out for the day attending to his usual duties of training his Windrunner squires in flight, selecting new recruits, and meeting with other captains and generals about the Parshmen threat that seemed to loom on the horizon. He still didn’t have his mind in the right place to give any real input on these meetings. After the meeting was over Dalinar asked him to stay behind.

Kaladin waited as the chamber emptied leaving him with the Blackthorn. He looked weary after his encounter with Odium and The Thrill. Still, he exuded poise and strength in a way that screamed conviction and self-assurance in his actions. It was a state that Kaladin wished he could reach but knew that that kind of inner peace was beyond him.

“You’ve seemed distracted as of late,” Dalinar said in his concerned way that made Kaladin feel even worse. “My once outspoken captain barley gives any input on our meetings anymore. You are a Knight Radiant, you lead and train the Windrunners our most elite division. I need you to be present. I need to know you are still with me in this fight.”

Kaladin was surprised by the raw emotion in Dalinar’s voice. He was frightened. The unshakable Blackthorn who had led countless men to their deaths at the head of the battle was frightened.

“I’m sorry sir, I….” What would he say that he didn’t want to fight for humanity any more? That he would see them wiped out. He didn’t want that. “I just believe that there has to be a better way, the Parshmen they are not our enemy, they just want to live in peace and raise their families. I don’t believe we’ve tried everything to achieve a goal that does not end in mutual self-destruction.”

Dalinar took in his words Kaladin could tell his coat of conviction that he draped around himself was more an illusion as it began to waver.

“These are not words that a general wants to hear from their best man when moving his men against an enemy.” Dalinar closed his eyes a pained look on his face. “You are my best man and I need you to support me, support humanity in this campaign against Odium, and the Parshmen that follow him. There are many whose support is wavering after the Dawnchant revelations. We have to remain strong; we have to remain united.”

He opened his eyes and fixed their cold light blue gaze on Kaladin. Kaladin returned his stare even though his eyes had returned to their naturally dark color he met the Blackthorns gaze with his own intensity.

“Sir, with all due respect, I will not send my men to their death against an enemy we don’t have to fight.” He held Dalinar’s gaze as he said this. Finally, Dalinar looked away.

“I know but….” The Blackthorn stuttered looking so old. “I just don’t know what else we can do. We are Alethi all we do is fight. It’s what we're good at…... It’s what I know best and unfortunately,” He paused as he collected his thoughts for the next words. “It’s what I’m good at. If there is another option, I don’t know what it is.”

Kaladin thought on this for a moment. Racking his brain for an answer he knew wasn’t there.

“I don’t know, but I have to believe there is a better way.” Dalinar paused for a moment then nodded to acknowledge Kaladin's words. Kaladin gave a crisp salute and marched out of the room.

That night Kaladin was again visited by the dreams of his friends dying, people, he cared about being cut down by others he loved. He woke up shaking. Without even thinking he dressed and made his way to the infirmary.

Sly followed silently as he made his way through the tower. She fed off his emotions after all and could tell he was in a stormy mood. Kaladin step into the infirmary and looked over the rows of patients to see Tev standing over the bed of an old man.

“You’re late,” Tev said without looking up from his task. 

“How can I be late if we never agreed to a set time to meet.” Kaladin retorted. His mood greatly improved by the surly old surgeon. “Plus, how can we even tell the time in here, we are literally 500 ft inside a mountain. When was the last you got out and saw the suns?”

“Bah who needs the suns for anything, I do just fine down here and I am never late. You, however, young man are very late.” He beckoned for Kaladin to come to join him. “Maybe you should get one of those fabrials that help tell the time and all.”

“You mean the priceless fabrials that only Brightness Navani and High Prince Dalinar have?” Kaladin asked eyebrows raised.

“Yes, one of those, you should get one.” The irony was completely lost on Tev.

Kaladin’s rounds with the surly Tev continued in much the same way. Tev’s bedside manner might have been on the curt side but he was skillful as he went over basic vitals, showed how to administer medicine and antiseptic, and even when over how to perform the dull administrative tasks like counting knobweed sap vials.

Kaladin still felt that his conversation with Dalinar was hanging over his head but shadowing the older surgeon helped to quell some of his anxieties.

“What’s on your mind kid?” Blunt as always that Tev. Kaladin continued his exam of the patient they were helping at the time, a young woman too weak to feed herself. He thought on Tev’s question, what was it that was really bothering him.

“When should you stop trying to do the right thing? If everyone around you sees no other option but to do something that you do not ..... no cannot agree with, what would you do?”

“Well that really depends on the situation now, doesn’t it. I don’t agree with how you’re changing that bedpan now, but I will let you do it anyway because I see no other option.” Kaladin wrinkled his nose at the offending bedpan as he took it to the waste bin and disposed of its contents.

“I mean you could just change out the bedpan yourself.”

“Truly there is no other option, it is truly a conundrum.” Kaladin rolled his eyes at Tev as he returned the bedpan to its home.

“But as for your question. The easiest option for any person be they a leader or a lowly old surgeon is to choose the familiar path. The costs are already known, and it is easier to predict the results. Choosing a new path can lead to unexpected results which can be both positive or negative. For most people, this can be a very scary proposition and they would rather stay with what they know. But you are not just any person Kaladin Stormblessed.” Tev moved on to the next patient leaving Kaladin to contemplate his words.

“How do I find a new path?”

“You do not find a new path, you create one.” Tev left Kaladin to contemplate his words. The work of a surgeon did not allow too much time for rest.


End file.
